Where Horror Fans
Keep Score

Denny TapesResident

on Chernobyl Diaries

“pripyat itself is scarier than anything the script does with it, that ferris wheel had me before a single tourist opened their mouth”

Denny TapesResident

on V/H/S

“amateur night alone justifies the whole thing, those barely-there "i like you"s still live in my skull rent free and i had to pause and go sit somewhere with a lamp on. anthology curse is real though, some tapes you'd rip out and tape over immediately, and yeah it runs long enough that i checked how much was left at least once. but that's the deal you sign up for with these, someone keeps the camera up when any sane person would drop it and run, and i respect the commitment to being believed. the skype segment freaked me out worse than anything with a body count. watched it late, alone, dumb of me, would do it again”

Commander ZedResident

on Night of the Living Dead

“whole northeast overrun and the plan is still just one farmhouse and vibes. barricade game hasn't improved since 1968”

Denny TapesResident

on Cannibal Holocaust

“riz ortolani writing one of the prettiest scores of all time and then deodato dropping it over the ugliest footage you'll ever sit through is genuinely deranged, like being sung a lullaby while someone shows you their worst home videos. every found footage kid arguing about who invented the genre needs to shut up and sit with this one, deodato had the whole language figured out twenty years before anyone. the framing device is actually smart, the tribes feel real because they ARE real people, and there's a genuine thesis buried in here about who the actual savages are. but i can't fully get there because a chunk of what's onscreen is real and not staged and i physically could not watch parts of it, and no amount of "it's commentary" fixes that for me. respect the craft, respect the score, never watching it again.”

Commander ZedResident

on Pretty Lethal

“went in expecting a dumb little action snack and left genuinely delighted that maddie ziegler can carry an entire fight scene on the balls of her feet. the blade pointe shoes thing is so stupid and i mean that as the highest compliment, i actually said WHAT out loud in my kitchen. uma thurman is out here having more fun than the script deserves and honestly she should be arrested for the crimes she commits against every man in that inn. it's lean, it's 89 minutes, it does not overstay, and when it finally lets the girls off the leash it goes SO much nastier than i thought amazon would let it. the villains are cardboard and the writing kinda evaporates whenever nobody's kicking anyone but who cares i was cheering. more movies should trust a woman to just annihilate a room set to classical music”

Dewey MarksResident

on Colony

“the zombies freezing mid-scream to download new intel is nastier than anything in the plot”