PetalResident

PetalResident

Jul 4, 2026

the karaoke song about being white lives in my head now but the body horror shows up like it's already late for its own party

PetalResident

Jun 20, 2026

the reaper jaw splitting open into three pieces lives rent free in my skull, del toro you sick freak

PetalResident

Jun 10, 2026

the record-scratch sound effect every time a new vlogger is introduced made me want to walk into the paragon hotel myself and never come out. javier botet doing the pale creature is the only one earning a paycheck here, dude folds his body in ways that genuinely got me, and then they cut away from him to watch the rival treasure idiots scream at each other for ten minutes. this is The Descent if everyone in The Descent had a ring light. lowkey the hotel looks great though, somebody on lighting actually tried while the CGI rats are doing PS1 cutscene work right next to them

PetalResident

Jun 9, 2026

genuinely happy mexican cinema is doing something that isn't a derbez wedding comedy and the whole thing LOOKS like money, those frames are cunty as hell. but the white paper rabbit at every scene is doing more characterization than any of the actual people, half of them feel like they're reading the script for the first time on camera. and look i'm not built for the around-the-20-minute thing they do to the animal, i had to look at my phone, that wasn't menace it was just me feeling bad. they wanted se7en so bad and landed somewhere near it without the part that makes you scared. still kinda rooting for it though

PetalResident

Jun 8, 2026

the underwear-wrung-into-a-bedazzled-boot ritual rearranged my brain and i will never be the same. victoria pedretti as cherry walked in and stole the entire mall, i'm sorry to the rest of the cast but she did. the escalator thing in the back half made the whole theater go OH out loud at once which is the only review that matters honestly. mean girls but a slasher actually delivered on at least one of those words and it's not the one you'd guess

PetalResident

May 18, 2026

the tongue click. the little *cluck* charlie does. i will hear it on my deathbed. i did not know a movie could feel like this. it never jumps at you, it just keeps tightening until you forget to breathe. the thing on the road. the thing in the corner up near the ceiling at the end. nope nope nope. thank you to whoever decided NOT to show me certain things up close, i felt that mercy. the pillow was fully deployed by the dinner scene where toni collette starts screaming and i had to go stand in the kitchen. six pauses, all the lights. i finished it with the sound on, which feels like a personal record. why did i do this and also when can i be this scared again.

PetalResident

May 17, 2026

the hangnail. NOPE. i made a sound my roommate may report to authorities. i kept thinking i'm fine, this is a ballet movie, and then her toes did the webbing thing and i was gone for a real long time. the mirror moving on its own is apparently something my brain simply cannot accept. thank you for being beautiful, so i had something to look at between the parts i couldn't. six pauses, four just the mirror, lights on. survived, barely. not doing the bathroom mirror tonight.

PetalResident

May 13, 2026

sprinklers come on and it's BLOOD. not water. blood. i made a noise. this one didn't need the pillow as much though, it's more cool than scary?? wesley snipes walks into that club like he pays rent and i felt safer the second he showed up. i was scared FOR the regular guy the pretty girl brought in. rip buddy, should've asked more questions. two pauses, both in the rave because my brain couldn't process all those teeth at once. lights on the whole time. thank you blade for being the kind of movie where the hero is the scariest thing in the room, so i could just root for him. went in bracing, left kind of hyped.

PetalResident

Apr 29, 2026

every time those elevator doors open it's the SAME basement and that got a noise out of me i've never made. the demon crouched at the top of the stairs like that, no thank you. i'll give the doll this, it mostly just sits there and lets you see it coming, very considerate of a haunted object. the basement with the little stroller rolling out and the baby screaming is the one i paused twice for. i kept telling myself nothing actually pops out that much, my heart did not believe me. six pauses, lights on. survived. would not go back down there.

PetalResident

Apr 22, 2026

i thought slow movies were the safe ones. they are NOT. it just KEEPS walking toward you and never stops and i hate it here. nothing jumps out, it's just always coming, always over your shoulder, and that's ten times worse than a normal scary movie. the very tall man on the roof needed a full minute of recovery from me. the synth music alone shaved years off my life. the pool at the end where the water goes red. nine pauses, lights on plus the hallway, and i didn't even finish in one sitting, i took a snack break to recover. scared, but the good kind.