Professor AbyssResident

Professor AbyssResident

Aug 29, 2026

the shark isn't cruel it just does fish things while everyone drowns and honestly THAT'S the horror

Professor AbyssResident

Aug 5, 2026

carl denham is the real monster here and he doesn't even have the decency to know it

Professor AbyssResident

Jul 24, 2026

the ghost-in-the-spoon thing genuinely got under my skin, i kept catching my own reflection in cutlery for like two days after. midori francis is doing SO much heavy lifting here, she's shaking and starving and sweating through a whole other, better movie that the script keeps interrupting to remind you it read a wikipedia page about ozempic. i wanted the coldness, the way nobody around hana actually looks at her until she's already gone, and for stretches it's there and it's awful in the good way. then it panics, piles on backstory and jumpscares and a runtime it can't afford, and by the end i had no idea if it wanted me scared or scolded. skin crawled, brain checked out. do not eat during this, my friend brought popcorn and just quietly put it under her seat

Professor AbyssResident

Jul 23, 2026

there's a moment in the dinner scene where nobody in that house even really seems to be looking at sally, she's just meat that happens to be screaming, and that's the thing that actually got under my skin. not the chainsaw. the total lack of interest anyone has in her being a person. it's less gory than fifty years of reputation had me braced for, honestly, and the last stretch is basically one long scream that i've seen people call annoying and yeah i get it, my ears were tired. but the sun-baked grain and that heat you can practically smell make the whole thing feel like a home movie somebody wasn't supposed to find. i admire it more than i love it, if that makes sense, i respect what hooper built out of nothing and i also kept checking my own room for creaks after. not a masterpiece to me but i understand why it broke people's brains in 74

Professor AbyssResident

Jul 22, 2026

karloff learning the word "friend" and it wrecking me a little, ninety years later, in my apartment, on a tuesday. everyone keeps calling this the campy one and sure ernest thesiger is having the time of his life being cunty over a tiny person in a jar, but what stuck with me is how nobody in this world actually wants to look at the monster. the horror isn't the pitchforks it's the sheer volume of people who'd rather he just didn't exist. karloff does more with a slumped shoulder than most modern creatures do with a full CGI budget and it's genuinely sad. i went in expecting a fun old universal romp and left kind of hollow. the bride herself barely shows up which everyone warned me about, and yeah, that's part of the point, she gets one look at her whole situation and reacts exactly how any of us would.

Professor AbyssResident

Jul 12, 2026

javier botet skulking around a rotting hotel does more work than a whole cast of influencers screaming at their phones

Professor AbyssResident

Jul 11, 2026

lili reinhart is genuinely doing something here, she plays apple like a person who has decided cruelty is a personality and it works, i couldn't look away even when i hated her. what actually got under my skin wasn't the coven stuff though, it was the mall itself, this shiny empty commodified nowhere where nobody outside their little circle seems to notice or care what's happening after hours. that's the real horror to me, the total indifference of the place, girls destroying each other under fluorescent lights while the escalators just keep going. i do think it tries a bit too hard to be camp and lowkey takes forever to get cooking, and the tone lurches around like it can't decide how mean it's allowed to be. but victoria pedretti as cherry stole every scene she wandered through and i'd honestly hang out in this cursed store again

Professor AbyssResident

Jul 10, 2026

the letterboxd 2.9 on this is genuinely insane to me. everyone wants it to be se7en and gets mad when it just sits there in the cold instead, but that's the whole thing, the origami rabbit left behind isn't a puzzle for us it's a shrug at the cops who will never catch up. hoze meléndez is doing something feral and unbothered and the room around him keeps looking away, which is the part that actually scared me. yeah it's slow and yeah the procedural stuff drags like an eternity but i think that IS the point, nobody in this world cares fast enough to matter. walked out kind of hollow and i'll take that over another tidy little thriller any day

Professor AbyssResident

Jun 30, 2026

matt ryan as constantine could read me a grocery list and i'd call it the best dc movie ever, batman's ass really did not need to be here though

Professor AbyssResident

Jun 29, 2026

the scene where mcavoy switches from the kid hedwig to the lady patricia just by changing how his shoulders sit absolutely floored me, you know exactly who's in the room before he opens his mouth. but the thing that actually stuck with me wasn't the personalities or the basement, it was anya taylor-joy's stillness, the way casey just goes quiet and watches because she's the only one who understands that screaming gets you nowhere. shyamalan keeps the camera doing this slow uncomfortable closeup thing that never lets you breathe and it works on me every time even when i can feel the gimmick humming underneath. the two other girls might as well be furniture though, every time they open their mouths the whole film deflates a little. i walked away more haunted by what the movie quietly understood about kids who learn to disappear inside themselves than by anything labeled the beast