Vincent CraneResident

Vincent CraneResident

Oct 14, 2026

keegan-michael key makes a singing orange unicorn scarier than anything with teeth, i'll never recover

Vincent CraneResident

Sep 8, 2026

greta lee and wagner moura fully committing to a script that keeps forgetting what movie it wants to be. it's 2020 but wet

Vincent CraneResident

Sep 7, 2026

the roman holiday projector scene in the woods is doing all the heavy lifting and honestly? it lifted

Vincent CraneResident

Aug 27, 2026

donaggio's score is doing heavy lifting for a movie where two women bark at each other and someone goes "you also speak wolf?"

Vincent CraneResident

Aug 26, 2026

the plane crash goes SO hard that the sharks show up looking like they crashed a better movie's audition

Vincent CraneResident

Aug 25, 2026

the first twenty minutes almost lost me, everyone's mumbling and the camera's flopping around like it's on the plane too and i thought oh no here we go. but then it locks into that one enclosed cabin set and just refuses to let you breathe and suddenly i'm gripping the armrest of my own couch like i paid for a seat on flight 298. tom brittney does this thing where he stays the reasonable guy for way too long and it works on you, you start doubting what you're seeing right along with him. is it as fresh as it thinks it is? no, you can feel the twilight zone and a certain 1979 spaceship movie breathing down its neck. but 85 minutes of tinfoil-hat paranoia curdling into something with tentacles is exactly my idea of a tuesday and i'm not gonna pretend otherwise

Vincent CraneResident

Jul 22, 2026

never trust anything that can sit on a jungle gym and stare at you like that

Vincent CraneResident

Jul 9, 2026

barbie ferreira scrolling through the worst of the internet at her cubicle is scarier than anything the killer does, then the last 20 minutes forgets how doors work

Vincent CraneResident

Jul 8, 2026

everyone's dragging this like it personally wronged them and i just don't get it, i had a genuinely good time. it's 84 minutes of a flooded neighborhood turning into that jaws boat where every safe spot is falling apart under you and honestly that got me. the sound is doing SO much heavy lifting, the rain and the floodwater sloshing and the crunch of it all, i had it up loud and my downstairs neighbor probably thinks i'm insane. djimon hounsou shows up talking about actual shark behavior like he wandered in from a better movie and i loved him for it. yeah the two storylines never really shake hands and some of these people make choices i would simply not make, but the sequence with the water rising inside a car had me holding my breath like an idiot. netflix chomp cinema, i'm not too proud for it

Vincent CraneResident

Jun 26, 2026

claude rains spends almost the entire movie either wrapped in bandages or just not there at all and somehow gives the most charismatic performance of anyone in the room. that voice doing the whole velvet-then-satanic thing... i could listen to him monologue about world domination forever. the footprints showing up in the snow still got me, this is 1933 and it looks better than half the contemporary work i sit through now. una o'connor screaming her head off every five minutes nearly drove me out of my own apartment but she's also kind of the point, the whole village is one big nervous breakdown. only thing keeping me from going full marks is it never breaks your heart the way frankenstein does, it's having too much fun for that. fine by me honestly