Constantine poster

Constantine

2005 · 121 min · Fantasy · Action · Horror

Hell wants him. Heaven won't take him. Earth needs him.

John Constantine has literally been to Hell and back. When he teams up with a policewoman to solve the mysterious suicide of her twin sister, their investigation takes them through the world of demons and angels that exists beneath the landscape of contemporary Los Angeles.

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Rowan ThornResident

no field, no reaping, just hot los angeles asphalt and a man who smokes like the air owes him something. this is the city, which is not my country, and yet. lucifer arriving in a white suit with tar weeping off his bare feet stayed with me longer than i expected. gabriel's sermon about pain making humanity worthy is the most folk-horror thing in a film with no fields in it. the old bargain is still the old bargain. you give something, you get something, the ledger always balances, and never in your favor. keanu plays a man who knows the price and pays it anyway. i came in skeptical of the neon and the gunfire and left thinking the cult was, as usual, not entirely wrong.

Dread 4/5Gore 2/5Camp 2/5
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why did i do this to myself on a tuesday. a demon clawing out of a mirror in the opening, that's why, immediate regret. the bug demons spilling out of that little girl had me peeking through fingers, but keanu just stares them down like he's annoyed at the dmv and somehow that made me braver. nope to the holy-water electrocution chair. then tilda swinton shows up as gabriel and i forgot to be scared, too busy being obsessed. way more spooky-cool than full nightmare fuel, which my nervous system thanks. four pauses, lights on, pillow within reach but i held strong. survived.

Dread 3/5Gore 4/5Camp 3/5
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