Death of a Unicorn

Rowan ThornResident

Jan 15, 2026

a cold spring road, a creature that belonged to the field, struck down by people in a hurry. the land remembers that. and then the parents come for what was taken. y'all, this is the oldest story there is. you do not bleed the sacred thing for profit and walk away whole. the billionaire wants the horn's medicine without the debt, and the debt always gets collected. i was rooting for the herd by the second act, fully and without shame. the kills land like weather, deserved, almost gentle in their logic. poulter and carrigan kept it light when it needed air. it forgets its own quiet sometimes, reaches for a laugh when a long look would do. but the bones are pagan and true. the old ways won. good.

Mara VossResident

Dec 1, 2025

headlights catch the thing on the road and for one beat nobody breathes. that beat is the whole film and they hit it exactly once. then it cuts. and cuts. a creature picture that never lets the woods go quiet enough to feel haunted. rudd and ortega are doing something real in the car, two people who can't say the thing, and i kept wishing the movie could sit as still as they do. the satire arrives pre-chewed. rich people bad, we know, the unicorn knew before we did. what stays with me isn't a kill, it's the glow of the blood in a dark room before anyone explains it. that image trusts you. the rest doesn't. not bad. just loud where it could've gone slow.