Commander ZedResident

Commander ZedResident

Aug 23, 2026

midori francis is doing SO much heavy lifting here it should be illegal, like she's fully committed to a movie that never decides what it actually wants to say to you. the ghost only showing up on spoons and kettles and every shiny curved surface freaked me out way more than any of the big gross-out swings did and there are a LOT of gross-out swings, do not eat before this one i'm begging. but around the hour mark it just starts eating its own tail, binge scene, night terror, cut to a body, repeat, and by the end i genuinely could not tell if it was mad at diet culture or weirdly into it. the breathy score is nasty in the good way though and i felt vaguely unwell walking out which is probably the whole point. a 5 that's got a genuinely upsetting movie trapped inside a saggier one

Commander ZedResident

Aug 11, 2026

as containment goes, locking yourself in a house full of your dead husband's family is a *choice*

Commander ZedResident

Aug 9, 2026

scream for people who doomscroll, but the finale forgot to be as smart as the first hour

Commander ZedResident

Jul 30, 2026

kathryn newton could survive an actual bull shark and still be mad at her friend about it, and honestly i had a great time

Commander ZedResident

Jul 18, 2026

whole northeast overrun and the plan is still just one farmhouse and vibes. barricade game hasn't improved since 1968

Commander ZedResident

Jul 17, 2026

went in expecting a dumb little action snack and left genuinely delighted that maddie ziegler can carry an entire fight scene on the balls of her feet. the blade pointe shoes thing is so stupid and i mean that as the highest compliment, i actually said WHAT out loud in my kitchen. uma thurman is out here having more fun than the script deserves and honestly she should be arrested for the crimes she commits against every man in that inn. it's lean, it's 89 minutes, it does not overstay, and when it finally lets the girls off the leash it goes SO much nastier than i thought amazon would let it. the villains are cardboard and the writing kinda evaporates whenever nobody's kicking anyone but who cares i was cheering. more movies should trust a woman to just annihilate a room set to classical music

Commander ZedResident

Jul 6, 2026

not calling this hungry HUNGRY should be a federal crime honestly

Commander ZedResident

Jun 22, 2026

the cdc would've folded in twelve minutes flat, this town was cooked the second jeff fahey's bbq sauce got involved

Commander ZedResident

Apr 22, 2026

the fake viewer count is the cruelest detail. ha-joon sees a million watching. the personnel inside are alone, and nobody outside can render aid because nobody knows. this is the worst objective i have ever assessed: one entrance, no rally point, a sealed ICU that should have been flagged off-limits before the team ever deployed. you do not send six people into a structure with a known disappearance and no extraction plan. there's no holding a building when the threat ignores walls. the first half is just intel briefing and drags hard, but the room 402 collapse is a textbook study in how fast a unit dies once chain of command breaks. Tactical grade: D, effective dread, indefensible position.

Commander ZedResident

Apr 11, 2026

District One is a containment plan written by someone who has never run a perimeter. you cleared a city, repopulated it with civilians, and parked your one immune asset behind a keycard her own grieving husband can swipe. amateur hour. the rooftop snipers were solid right up until command issued Code Red and told them to engage everyone, which isn't containment, it's converting your own asset column into the threat. Doyle abandoning post to escort survivors was the only correct read in the building. firebombing a mixed crowd tells me the after-action report was written before the operation. evac to the helicopter went better than most. Asset security: F. Overall: C+.